Wednesday, July 13, 2011

The Border Collie Drinking Game

I found this on an old disk while looking for something else. =)

The Border Collie Drinking Game

Take a drink if you consider buying a Border Collie
Take two drinks of you don't live on a farm

Take a drink if your Border Collie rewires the kitchen telephone
Take two drinks if it rearranges your furniture
Drink the entire bottle if you come home to find your Border Collie has rewired your house and installed a Jacuzzi.

Take a drink if your Border Collie herds your kids
Take two drinks if it herds the neighborhood kids.
Drink the entire bottle if it successfully herds school buses

Take a drink if your Border Collie's favorite toy is a tennis ball
Take two drinks if it has to rip the covering of every tennis ball to shreds
Take two drinks if you find it with your tennis racket
Drink the entire crate if it watches The US Open
Drink everything in sight if it WINS The US Open
Take a drink if your Border Collie likes to sing along with the radio or CD's
Tale two drinks if it has better pitch than most pop singers
Drink the entire bottle if it organizes a dog chorus.
Drink the entire case if it wins the local choral competition

Take a drink if your Border Collie watches TV
Take two drinks if it tells you "Lassie" couldn't herd a flock of ducks
Drink the entire bottle if you find it on the roof installing a satellite dish so it can watch BBC AMERICA'S "One man and his dog"

Take a drink if your Border Collie will go for walkies only if it is wearing a color coordinated leash and collar, or a bandanna.
Take two drinks if you find I ordering a new bandanna over the internet

Take a drink if your Border Collie has it's own webpage.
Take two drinks if you find your Border Collie checking out your scanner.
Drink the entire bottle if it knows HTML and Java

Take a drink if you find your Border Collie watching the movie "BABE"
Take two drinks if your Border Collie invites his/her friends over to watch it
Drink the entire bottle if it orders out for pizza when the other dogs arrive

Take a drink if your Border Collie refuses to get into your car
Take two drinks if it tells you it doesn't want to be seen in 'that junker'
Drink the entire bottle if it tells you cars, like Border Collies, should only come in, "Black, white, brown or red and/or blue merle."


Take a drink if your Border Collie barks at trucks
Take two drinks if it gets frantic when ever a UPS trucks stops in front of your house
Drink the entire bottle if it paints big white patches on the UPS truck while the driver is making a delivery.
Drink the entire crate if it tells you it did it because the truck didn't have esthetic appeal.

Take a drink when your Border Collie takes up religious studies.
Take two drinks if it starts it's own religion
Drink the entire bottle if it tells you that you're not dyslexic when you write 'god' instead of 'dog'.